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Michelle's Blog

by cityslicker2801 from Bronx NYC

Last Post 43 days, 9 hours Ago


LONG TIME
Jul 10, 2008 | 1:08 PM
Category: Faith
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I have been reading all you guys blogs from time to time. I havent had a drive at all to write one single word. I looked at my last post..and all my old ones and thought, how I wish I were back at that same exact time in my life. Ignorance sure is bliss.

So much has happend. Real bad things have happend in my life since that last post. Up to even a week or so after. I have lost all my faith in people, men, even myself. I have lost my desire to write, read, listen to music, everything seems to be not interesting to me at all these days. Day to day I live in constant anxiety, fear, doubt. One thing,, I did lose a ton of weight. 30 pounds in all. Not the way I wanted to lose it, but one perk is I didnt have to get new clothes this summer, my really old stuff fit. I did not get baptised. I had to cancel the one most important thing in my entire life. I will be sure to attend classes once again and be where I want to be spiritually. I did get to see the Pope. That was incredibly lifting. These days I look for the small things to lift my spirits. I have been holding on tightly to being a good mom, since right now thats the most important role in my life.

I cant get into detail at all here, but just wanted to say I miss blogging. I need someplace to vent. Why not here? right?

Michelle

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Member Comments Total Comments: 16
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bigbadbob read my blog
Jul 10, 2008 | 1:22 PM

Sorry about all that. You should never lose faith, that's what faith is all about. It's easy to say that we all have problems and it'll al work out in time, but we all deal with them differently. The one thing I know for sure is that you can't lose faith in God, yourself and all people. You have to keep believing in yourself and try. I've gone through a lot in my life and survived it all. Keep in touch with us and if I can use my brand of lunacy to put a smile on your face...by all means keep blogging with me.
Your friend...
BIG (not so) Bad Bob!
You can do it!!
SamIam read my blog
Jul 10, 2008 | 3:22 PM

Michelle,

My condolences on your loss(of faith).

It's wierd, just yesterday one of my good friends quoted a poet who said something like "Despair is an emotion that is so deeply lonely, it can't see that faith is her twin sister."

I'm not sure what that poet was intending to say, but to me, it's how faith and despair are not opposites, but closely related emotions.

Anyway, that's all interpretational BLEEP, what I really want to say is you seem like a sweet person, and it makes me feel sad when I see you feeling the way you do.

I hope you feel better soon.
jmax123 read my blog view my photos
Jul 10, 2008 | 8:43 PM

Hi Michelle,

I once heard that sometimes we have to hit bottom in order to catapult to the top.
I always believe that when you feel at your lowest, it is a prelude to new, and incredible things to come. Keep the faith.

Jane
as34656 read my blog view my photos
Jul 11, 2008 | 8:17 PM

My heart goes out to you...I've been through a whole lot in my life...If my grey hair can talk, boy it would be very interesting...

You are not alone, take things one day at a time and live it in god hands...God will guide you in every way of your life...

God bless you and your family alway....

May you find peace and love always in your hear and in your soul profoundly...

God bless
Angie
Vittorio read my blog view my photos
Jul 12, 2008 | 11:32 AM

Life is all about peaks and valleys. I've learned that everything, even the bad stuff, happens for a reason. Hang in there; the best days are yet to come.
bigbadbob read my blog
Jul 12, 2008 | 3:33 PM

WOW! Look at all the people who care about you! Just keep comunicating with us through your blogs. You've got friends!
You friend BOB
Sanctus read my blog view my photos
Jul 14, 2008 | 10:52 AM

Hey, Michelle. Glad to see you back. Please feel free to vent at any time.

Daniel
sinypcrx read my blog
Jul 15, 2008 | 7:54 PM

Focus on motherhood...take some time to heal...and when you are ready God will be there waiting for your triumphant return to the fold. We are ready to hear you, to be there for you, to listen, to cry with you, to pray with you and to pray for you. Its ok to lose faith in people, in fact its expected....
bigbadbob read my blog
Jul 17, 2008 | 12:36 PM

Hi Michelle, what's shakin'? How are you doing today? You don't have to answer, I just want you to know that I'm still here.
Bob
davvvyc read my blog view my photos
Jul 27, 2008 | 4:49 AM

www.depression.com if this helps.
Michelle,
God is able to heal you. By Christ's stripes you are healed. Close your palms and fingers in God's mighty hand. God loves you and so do I.
Dave
Footprints, the poem: (During those times God says, "I carry you.")(...when there is one set of footprints).
cityslicker2801 read my blog view my photos
Jul 27, 2008 | 5:06 PM

Hello everyone:)

So much has happened since I wrote this. One thing was.. devastating..but eye opening. I was faced with facts to something I knew in my heart all along, but was too afraid to face. I thought how devastating knowing the truth would be, but was surprised to find that it had lifted bricks off of my heart and mind. I left with my information, and just started to think of the decisions I would have to make from there on.

That night, I was faced with a big one. To offer forgiveness, or to just move on with my life.

Who could I be if I could not give forgiveness? It was given to me when I had been regretful and wanted to make amends.

From that day forward, I cannot lie..there has been much pain in my heart. I even lost more weight. This time I have been forcing myself to eat. I guess my body isn't good with stress. But steps are being taken to repair my heart. I pray all the time that the motives are genuine. Yet I am now prepared to not be so stricken with despair just in case it doesn't work out.

Today we went to church as a family. All 5 of us. It had been many months. It felt so good to know that all 5 of us were there with pure hearts, clean consciences, good intentions.

Thank you everyone for all your warming words. I did not write back all this time, but I was reading.

Michelle
bigbadbob read my blog
Aug 7, 2008 | 11:28 AM

Hey Micelle, was that you doing the huggie thing with MIke on this morning's show??
If it was, you're a little cutie-pie. Hope you're feeling better.
Your friend BBB
MYSTRO read my blog view my photos
Aug 7, 2008 | 3:48 PM

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down Michelle. Remember your favorite quote, "live and let live, but if you aren't happy with your life, do something about it!" Hope through blogging you're able to find that happiness. Keep the faith and be encouraged--take everything one day at a time. :) A New Day + Faith = A New Chance at ANYTHING!
bigbadbob read my blog
Aug 7, 2008 | 6:02 PM

Way to go Mystro!
cityslicker2801 read my blog view my photos
Aug 9, 2008 | 8:51 AM

Hey Bob..me? what? who? lol..noo sadly it wasnt me.. im off for the summer and I am lucky if I am awake by 9 am these days!

(im still a cutie pie though!lol)

Thank U MYSTRO,,, funny how what I used to live by, have been forgotten. I guess stress can do that to a person.. lose all perspective. Day by day, as things in my life become more clear, its become easier to be optimistic :) Kinda,,,like the old me.. who I really missed ! What doesnt kill us makes us stronger, and I have never felt so strong in all my life :)
bigbadbob read my blog
Aug 9, 2008 | 11:53 AM

ATTA GIRL!
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cityslicker2801

Avid reader, strong belief in children learn what they live, strong belief in the family unit, I love god and feel we are all created equal,we all should be treated the same..with love..kindness AND RESPECT , I think all human beings have the right to an education a place to live and decent healthcare, I have strong faith in the long nap to replenish the soul, I am a star gazer, sunset watcher,  forever optimistic, big on foreign films, Korean dramas, Karate and Horror movie buff.  My life's motto is to live and let live, but if you aren't happy with your life, do something about it ! ~ Quit whining :)  ..

Member Since: 1/12/2007


 

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