Michelle's Blog

Summer is just about over. I started my season cleaning session today. Taking out shorts, skirts, etc. that I wont need till next yr or so. I was inspired to take a garbage bag and fill it with all kinds of things I felt I didnt need anymore. Inspired by mostly a book I read. I have grown tired of my usual reads and decided to pick up a self help book. Self help, me? That sounds strange to me since I always found those books to be good for nothing except making a great coaster, but the title caught my eye. " getting rid of body clutter " I naive as I am thought it was about making your household more organized, when I got into chapter 1 I immediatly knew it was about people, nothing to do with organization.

What I got from this book, was that we hold on to things in our lives that clutter our future. Internally, externally. We hold on to health problems with some strange sense of security, when we know we should be taking better care of ourselves. I have clutter from 3 pregnacies (external), some clutter even from lost friendships (internal).

 It helped me think objects though. Objects we hold on to. Small things that some may find totally useless, yet we just cant seem to trash it.

It could be baby clothes when we know we arent going to have anymore kids. A broken statue that was given to us by someone special, a peice of clothing that hasent fit us in oh so many years, but reminds us of our youth.

I keep a doll rabbit I had when I was 3. Im no spring chicken, so I can tell you its real old. I kept that doll, it was my security, It is my remider of how fragile childrens hearts are.

As I got into my closet more, when putting away the shorts, I came upon a shirt I had when I was 12 yrs old. I never wore it, it wasnt my taste, the color, the style, but It was given to me by my dad, in a time when I hadent seen anyone in my family for years. I took it out and thought to myself, "why did I keep something, that reminds me of nothing but pain" .

Then I realized it wasnt pain that moved me to keep it, it was that shirt that made be believe that there was someone who in fact cared for me in a time where I felt invisible, it was that shirt that gave me hope.

I put it back where it was.

Michelle