Tallmanok2's Blog

Hippy Dippy

A Little something for Alan Lee

After enjoying the show this morning I wanted to do something Special for Cam

You know we can all learn a bit about each other, and in keeping with that how about you post your favorite song here. Now please only your favorite or this thing will get way to big.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

 

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.


Please select from the following options menu:


If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.


If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.


If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the

 line so we can trace your call.


If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which

number to press.


If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.


If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.


If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep

 or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.


If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term

memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.


If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too

busy to talk with you.


If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,

 lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. 


 


This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least

one unstable person to show you care.

 

 

Well, my job is done .....Your turn.

 

I was thinking this morning it would be great to see some of the fox 2 bloopers.  Would it be possible? I bet there are some good ones. So what do you think is this a good idea?

Two Wolves
 
One evening an old Cherokee Indian was telling his grandson about a battle that goes on inside every person on the planet. 
 
He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves'inside us all.
 One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
 
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
 
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
 "Which wolf wins?"

 The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

When you have a "I Hate My Job" day, try this: On your way home from
work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and
purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the
thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.Now the fun part begins.   Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:  "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized ". Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1,000 AL-QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE Canadian"

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Vancouver . You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business ... and that the RCMP might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement . . We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?

 

See Comment's for the Answer

In case you missed it this morning Denna Centofanti gave Jay Towers heck for saving the word fart It got funny when Charles joined in on it. At Deena's, she says they use the word toot. Boy would she hate it if she knew how Kelly Ripa got her name......LOL

Rosey is leaving the View whats your feelings on this ?  I say ding dong the Witch is gone.

To all of you Michigan natives and to those of you who have moved
away or have moved in, or anyone interested in History, here is a chance
to learn more about Michigan, the "Great Lakes State." Cool stuff!
___________________________________________________
HISTORY
Q. What Michigan community grew from 3,589 to 45,615 residents from
1910 to 1920, leading the nation in growth during that period?
A. Hamtramck
___________________________________________________
Q. During the lumber boom era, what name was given to the row of
saloons that lined Water Street in Bay City?
A. Hells' Half Mile
___________________________________________________
Q In 1936, what UP city processed 100,000 sq. feet of bird's eye
maple for use in the English luxury liner, the Queen Mary?
A. Escanaba
___________________________________________________
Q. When the territory of Mic higan was created on Jan. 11 what
town was selected as it's capital?
A. Detroit
___________________________________________________
Q. Bloomfield Hills was first known by what name?
A. Bagley's Corners
___________________________________________________
Q. Where is the world's only marble lighthouse?
A. Belle Isle (Livingston Lighthouse)

Q. Utica was originally known by what name?
A. Hog's Hollow
___________________________________________________
Q. Approx. how many lakes are in the state?
A. 11,000
___________________________________________________
Q. The home offices of Life Savers candy, Beech-Nut gum and Squirt
soft drink are in which city?
A Holland
____________________________________________________
Q. What coastline has been given the name "Graveyard of the Great
Lakes"?
A. Whitefish Point, Lake Superior (remember the Edmund Fitzgerald?
It was only the most famous ship lost there, but there have been ma ny,
many more lost in that spot in the last hundred years....)
___________________________________________________
Q. In 1870, Detroit telephone customers became the first in the
nation
to have what type of reference information assigned to them?
A. Telephone numbers
__________________________________________________
Q. On Feb. 4, 1902, what internationally famous aviation pioneer
was
born in Detroit?
A. Charles A. Lindbergh
__________________________________________________
Q. On what date did the star & stripes first fly over Michigan
soil?
A. July 11, 1796
__________________________________________________
Q. What ambitious automotive pioneer organized GM. in Sept 1908?
A. William C. Durant
__________________________________________________
Q What annual license fee (how much) was charged to Michigan auto
owners in 1905 to operate their vehicles?
A. Fifty cents
______________________________________________ _____
Q. In what year was the first policewoman appointed in Detroit?
A. 1893
___________________________________________________
Q What was the world's first urban freeway, completed in 1942?
A. The Davison Freeway, Detroit
__________________________________________________
Q. In 1879, what amount was paid to the Campau family by the
city of Detroit for Belle Isle?
A. $200,000
_________________________________________________
Q. In 1866, what Detroit pharmacist introduced the world's first
carbonated soft drink?
A. James Vernor (Vernor's ginger ale)
_________________________________________________

Q. At what Detroit intersection was the world's first traffic light
installed in 1915?
A. Woodward Avenue and Grand Avenue
_________________________________________________
Q Who in 1688 founded the first permanent settlement in what later
became the state of Michigan?
A. Father Jaques Marquette
______________________ ___________________________
Q. In 1954 the world's first shopping mall opened in what Detroit
suburb?
A. Southfield (Northland Mall)
_________________________________________________
Q. What safety and traffic flow feature was first introduced near
Trenton in 1911?
A. Painted center lines
_________________________________________________
ENTERTAINMENT
Q. Debuting in 1936 over WWJ in Detroit, what crime fighting
adventure
series used "Flight of the Bumblebee" as it's theme song?
A. The Green Hornet
__________________________________________________
Q. The Supremes were originally known by what name?
A. The Primettes
____________________________________________________
Q. What Detroit-based male singing group was known as The Primes
until 1960?
A. The Temptations
___________________________________________________
Q. Under what name did Motown artist Stevie Wonder originally write

"My Cherie Amour" in 1966?
A. "Oh My Marsha"
__________________________________________________
SPORTS/LEISURE
Q. Where does Michigan rank internationally in the production of
dogsleds?
A. First
_________________________________________________
Q. What is the nation's largest indoor/outdoor museum complex?
A. Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village
_________________________________________________
SCIENCE/NATURE
Q. Compared to Chicago, "The Windy City," how does Detroit rank in
average wind velocity?
A. The same (10.4 mph)

(note: Chicago earned the nickname "The Windy City" because of
it's politicians in the 1920's (who their opponents in Washington
claimed were big 'bags of wind'), and not because of the wind off the
lake as most people think....)
________________________________________________
Q. Arnold F. Wilt, born in Detroit in 1886, revolutionized the
cosmetology industry by developing what process?
A. The cold permanent wave
_____ ___________________________________________
Q. The Michigan state capitol is constructed of what material?
A. Ohio sandstone
________________________________________________
Q. What is Michigan's largest fresh-market vegetable crop?
A. Onions
________________________________________________
Q. Opened in 1904, what is the oldest freshwater aquarium in
the
nation?
A. Belle Isle Aquarium

I got this from a great friend and I wanted to share it.

What is up with Paula this year? Has she switched her pills for liquor? Maybe it's me but she sure seems a whole lot cruler, what with the rolling of the eyes and such. What do you think?