Rob_Wolchek's Blog

“You’re not going to believe this!”
Those words can only mean one thing…it’s Sweeps! What is sweeps? To you watching the tube it means fresh new episodes of your favorite network shows and “You’re not going to believe this!” news stories designed to keep you from switching the channel after American Idol, Grey’s Anatomy or Lost. February sweeps just ended. I can’t believe some of the “You’re not going to believe this” stories I watched on Detroit television during the last 28 days!
I was told that I wouldn’t believe what was kind of icky germs were dwelling on the sweaty exercise equipment at local gyms. I was told there were all kinds of bacteria and strepto-whatevers on the dumbbells. But the “You’re not going to believe this” was saved for those big Pilates balls that people sit their grimy, perspiring butts on. What was discovered on those balls? FECAL MATTER! Now don’t get me wrong, this is gross but to be honest, I can believe it. In fact, it doesn’t really surprise me. I mean, it’s a big rubber ball that you roll your rear all over while working up a tremendous sweat. Yeah, I can believe that it gets fecal matter on it. That’s why you shower after a good workout. Now, if there was fecal matter on the drinking fountain that, in my opinion, would be worthy of a “You’re not going to believe this!”
Another big sweeps “You’re not going to believe this” moment was for Dick Purtan’s big secret. They teased us. We tuned in. We found out Dick is worried about his charity continuing to be successful. Is that a secret? I kinda think that’s just human nature. I know I worry about continuing to do well in things that are important in my life. We all do, don’t we? C’mon! Gimme a secret! Strom Thurmond had a secret! Mike Cox had a secret! O.J.’s got a secret!

And then there are those “You’re not going to believe this” stories with the sexy titles. I watched one called “Confessions of a compulsive shopper.” Being a married man, I am somewhat familiar with this disease, if you catch my drift. Now, I thought the concept was interesting, but the compulsive shoppers didn’t seem all that mind-blowing. I mean, they had the shoppers lighted in silhouette to disguise them so they must’ve been embarrassed about something. I’m not sure what. The one lady had an addiction to shopping at thrift stores for the best bargains! If you’re going to confess to something give me a closet full of Saks Fifth Avenue dresses that have never been worn, give me a thousand dollar Jimmy Choo purse and 20 pairs of shoes you had to buy to match the thing! I want compulsion, baby!

Now don’t get me wrong, I may have been guilty of a few “You’re not going to believe this” stories in my time (maybe even more than a few) but let’s get real. If you’re going to promote something “You won’t believe” shouldn’t it be at least a little bit unbelievable?

What stories do you feel didn’t live up to the hype?