Patch_W_Adams's St Louis Blog

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Ok..I need a break ...so to get us in the Halloween Spirit..here are some neat Pumpkins I have found....

What Pumpkins Have you Seen??

I was wondering am I the only one having trouble with the Blog Page??  It seem as if it isn't quite loading up right.......   I noticed it is on all Fox Blog pages not just STL...

I will put this in entertainment.....to keep it out of the way..

Thanks

Patch

I

Not Sure why You Would want to Tailgate a Howitzer....

That would make Baseball More Interesting......

Now this was in Canada...Insert your own Joke here..Eh!

Don't you hate it when someone takes up more than one parking spot?

Talk about a Police Interceptor....

Not Sure Roscoe Wants to Chase these Duke Boys....

Jaws...who's worried about Jaws..?

Car Pooling to Work saves gas......

Glad their Slogan wasn't

"Where the News Hits you in the Face!"

( I believe these are Oliver North's Rules, but they are Good.)

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends look like slovenly idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will use my electric nail gun to fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex with my daughter, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating my daughter. She is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless arbiter of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and thirty acres behind the barn. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy in Vietnam. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean my guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Have a nice date with my daughter...

VERY IMPORTANT: Application AND Rules for dating (any of) my daughter(s)

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and
current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________

2. HEIGHT ______________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.____________

3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK___________________________________________________
_

5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP __________

6. Do your Parents have Common Sense?______________________________

If No, EXPLAIN ______________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married ________________________________

8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _________

Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? _____________________

(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?______________________________

_______________________________________________________
________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

_______________________________________________________
________________

_______________________________________________________
________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ______________________

_______________________________________________________
________________

12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend ______________________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? ____

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That
means I won't tell anyone -ever- I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is __________________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________

c) A woman's place is in the _______________________________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is _______________________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your
head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________________________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
AND RED HOT POKERS.

________________________________________
Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your
application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might
want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?:

_____ Yes, please accept my application

_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...

www.poedpatriot.blogspot.com

General Patton at 6 months.....

www.poedpatriot.blogspot.com

A Wise Man Learns From Others Mistakes........

Dumb Dogs?  Or Dumb Fox? 

To whom it may Concern...

If there is by some chance someone who subscribes to my postings..I am sorry..It appears I have been reposting old Blogs ..multipule times....I assure you that was not my intention...I have been posting on other Fox News sites in Hopes of reaching and possibly even finding more people of Like mind as I have here is St. louis.  So If my Posting is messing you up I apologize....

Now that I have made a complete BLEEP out of myself by infering that I have subscribers ...thanks to my inflated ego...lol   not really... I was just concerned I was filling someone's e-mail with Junk....  anyway I will find a deep dark place to post this....maybe entertainment...so people can get a good laugh....oh wait...

hope that helps...lol

First let me say...GREAT JOB!  It appears my Stats are now Functioning again...Thank You.   Also I have visited several other Fox Blog sites and this is much better than all of them...so Tip my Hat...good to see the Show me State can still showem how it's done....

Now that I have kissed enough....you know...I have a questioin..

How do you post Blogs on other Blog Sites (like Fox Chicago and such) without reposting the Original Blog....I did this about 5 times to post the same Blog on 5 different Fox Blog sites..so now on my newsroom I have 5 copies of the same Blog....is there a better way..or is that the only way?

Thanks in Advance.

..I'll post ot Entertainment again to keep out of the way...

First how do we get a hold of you if we have a question like this?  Other than doing what I am Doing?

Second can the Stats on our blog "Top Out".  Will they not register any longer after a certain Number?

I'll post this in Entertainment to keep it out of the way....

Thanks!

I just went to Ohio for a wedding.   While I was there I noticed near my Hotel that there was an Amusement Park called Paramount’s Kings Island.   So we decided to go..

They have a Great Kids Section all themed in Nickelodeon Characters.  My Child loved it.  A lot of the Rides were made just for Kids, bumper cars, swings, Phantom Flight, etc..  My child loved the bumper cars; it had a Jimmy Neutron theme.   Also there was a Scooby Doo ride that was a lot of fun.

For the Adults it had a lot of Coasters and thrill rides.  The biggest Coaster was the Son of the Beast.  This is the tallest Wooden Roller Coaster in the world.  I believe it is 218ft tall and the 2nd Hill is a drop of 214 ft almost straight down!   They also have a Coaster that lays you flat and you are forced to look at the Ground so it gives you the feeling of flying.  The are so many thrill rides you can't do them all in One day. (I couldn't)

My brother in law said that Cedar Point is better but Kings Island is still nice.  I have never been to Cedar Point so I can not speak to this.  But I can say it is ALOT better than Six Flags St. Louis.  It has its need of slight repairs, but the overall look of the park is great and the Employees seem to get into their job (or at least pretend to).  They were all very nice and if I was In the Area I would go again.  (Plus through the local Kroger the tickets only cost $25.00 each..That includes the water park too. )

So if you’re near Cincinnati and want to go for a fun day, I highly recommend Paramount's Kings Island.  I don't think you'll be disappointed....