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CHILD DISCIPLINE Effectiveness of non-violent method relative to spanking is still debated. Those opposed to spanking argue that non-violent methods of child discipline are not only more humane, but more effective, than physical punishment such as spanking. Since spanking has been shown in scientific studies to lead to more misbehavior in the long run, a commitment to non-violent discipline can be expected to soon make parents' lives easier than they would have been otherwise. My argument: Spare the rod and spoil the child?

A) There are many ways to discipline young children:

1) TIME OUTS:

One method often used for young children is the use of time-outs. A time-out involves isolating the child for a short period of time. Although the giving of time-outs is an extremely common parenting practice, it is also very widely misunderstood and misapplied. Ideally, the time-out is intended to give an over-excited child time to calm down. Many advocates of the time-out recommend that other methods of discipline are more appropriate when a child makes a calm, deliberate choice to misbehave. The theory behind the time-out is that children at young ages, (2-5 yrs old) are often frightened by their own lack of control when they throw tantrums. Thus, time-outs help children develop internal self-control, whereas methods like spanking, the child relies on someone else to forcibly control them.

2) Distraction:

Distraction is a method of stopping young children from continuing a problem behavior.For example, if the parent sees the young child involved in an unacceptable behavior, the parent suggests to the child a more interesting alternative, such as reading a book together, a dance around the room, singing songs, etc. This is followed by continuing to play with the child until her unacceptable behavior is forgotten, then take her from the area for other activities, in order to assure that they will not return to it. The distraction method relies on the fact that young children have very short attention spans. Thus, it becomes less useful as the child matures. Punishing a child at this age would be pointless and serve only to create unnecessary resentment. Distraction can involve hugging. Hugging is useful for children not yet capable of reasoning or those in, for example, the so-called "terrible twos." This is used mainly when the child is involved in persistent negative behavior or in destructive behavior. The child is picked up and hugged in such a way that the child does not get hurt but ceases their ill-behavior. As the child begins to quiet, they are rocked, sang to, or spoken to in soft, calming tones. They are then removed from the room and given an activity that distracts them from his previous concern.

3) Reason:

Children will come to the age when reasoning is a very effective discipline tool. At this time, the child may be told, for example, "If you play with the glass apple, your hands are small, and it could fall. It would break and cut you. You could follow this by allowing the child to sit on a carpeted floor allow the child to caress it for a short time, then putting it away. This not only satisfies the child's natural, healthy curiosity and opens up the possibility for communication, but it also gives the child one-on-one time with the parent. In a calm voice talk with your child and answer their questions and then put the apple away in a safe place.

4) Consequences:

Many parents and experts believe that logical consequences for misbehavior are also effective. For example, if a teenager uses the car without permission, a logical consequence would be that the car is off-limits for a period of time which includes an instance when the teen is greatly inconvenienced.

5) Modeling:

The parent must consistently show the child what kind of life is expected of him by not doing anything that the parent will not allow the child to do. Showing the child appropriate behavior will teach the child far faster and far more deeply than will disciplinary action for misbehavior. Modeling is worthy of the efforts of every parent and shows the child by example that the parent is willing to "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk." When the parent errs, rather than covering up the error, advocates strongly suggest admitting the error, talking about it, and openly living through its consequences. Consistent effort on the part of the parent to model appropriate behavior with the ability to admit errors and apologize creates reciprocal respect for the parent and prevents resentment based on hypocrisy and double standards, say modeling proponents.

6) Praise and rewards:

Praise and rewards (hugs, time with the child, etc.) for good behavior similarly goes much further as discipline than does punishment . Simply giving the child positive attention and respect when they are not misbehaving will also act as an extremely strong reinforcer for good behavior. It is very common for children who are otherwise ignored by their parents to turn to misbehavior as a way of seeking attention. Advocates of this method differ on the question of what exactly should be used as rewards. Some, for instance, are strongly opposed to the use of food or sweets as rewards; others find candy a very effective and appropriate incentive.

7) Scolding:

Just as verbal praise is a powerful reinforcer for most children, verbal scolding can be an effective punishment. As with other punitive methods, however, over-reliance on scolding will drastically lessen its effectiveness. However, if gentle scolding is sometimes used in place of yelling, then the child won't be afraid. II. Be consistent: Whatever the age of the child, and whichever disciplinary solution you choose, always remember to be consistent. Consistency helps the child know that you mean business and also makes the child feel more secure when they know you are in charge.

Spare the rod and spoil the child? I say take the rod, attache a reel and go fishing with your child, don’t spank him.

What is your opinion?

REFERENCES:

www.medhelp.org/forums/childbehavior/archive/5.html>

www.StopHitting.com

Some schools offer the video 1,2,3, magic to parents who have discipline problems with their children.

One4A11's Blog

Spare the rod, spoil the child...

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